In the chaos that is the start of the new school year I have been catching my breath a lot lately. Spending a significant amount of my savings on not just my son’s education but also for my 3.6 year old daughter who is going to school for the very fist time. Buying the things my children need for school—from rolls of toilet paper to reams of construction paper. My thoughts have also been occupied by the A(H1N1) scare and how despite the WHO raising the swine flu alert level from 5 to 6, the equivalent of a pandemic, schools nationwide still opened.
Taking long, deep breaths have been helpful recently. Have really only begun to feel the power of Pranayama in the previous week when Mia Rotor shared how pranayama “carried” her throughout the day. I discovered that I enjoyed pranayama more than asanas after taking a workshop last month and this disturbs me. I used to get so lost in practice, the suryas, the standing sequence and some of the seated poses already had a meditative effect on me. It now troubles me too that I’ve found comfort in other physical activities like running and tennis. Maybe because I get to spend some time with the hubby since we’re both avid runners and have re-discovered tennis after watching the French Open…
These problems are approaching a bottleneck inside me and I’m beginning to feel like a computer that’s about to crash. One can lose one’s sanity just processing each and every problem! It’s a delicate balancing act: focusing on the kids, spending quality time with the family and yet having some precious “me” time to practise the backbend, re-connect with the headstand, go deeper in Marichy D, re-gain both confidence and strength. I know, I know…I need to remind myself constantly about Abhyasa and Vairagya, or to never give up and always let go.
4 comments:
It's a difficult task... balancing family life with yoga practice... you should talk to Connie... she should have a lot to share with you.
You know, I was thinking that maybe you're so worried about not feeling as into yoga as you used to, that maybe it's making it worse. You know like someone who's worrying so much about why she's depressed and ends depressing herself further? I think that's what happened to me the last time I got burned out. Enjoy your pranayama, relax, let go and yoga will soon call you back.
Thanks for reading guys.
Feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken these days. School blues lang siguro.
In a way Aves, you've hit the nail on the head. But I'm waiting to get that feeling of being "grounded" that yoga is supposed to promote. Don't feel it now though. Just like the headstand I guess, I used to feel so steady once I got up. Not anymnore :-(
Will talk to Connie. Might help to hear that I'm not the only one going insane :-)
Just curious, was going through my old posts and do either of these sound quite like what you're going through right now?:
http://tryingtowake.blogspot.com/2008/11/controlled-yet-not.html
http://tryingtowake.blogspot.com/2009/04/breath-is-everything-they-said.html
If one does or both do, know that there is light at the end of this. :)
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